So I plodded back down there again and I found an instant self tan.
Ok it looks cheap (but cheerful I might add):
To apply it I bought this mit for £2 in Primark:
Wearing a mit when you self tan is the law.
I also got a £1 moisturiser from Primark for the old elbows and hands aka tango territory.
I liked the smell, it was a bit like a tropical car air freshener (perhaps not the best analogy).
And the results:
I have to admit I'm impressed. As you can see I'm chalk white and it really gave me a good colour. I think the camera definitely makes it look more orange than it is in real life. Check the knuckles though, no serious dark patches.
I done the splash test where I sprinkled some water over my arm and I don't think you can tell (yes that was done for the above pic).
This tan is as good, if not better, than any wash off tan I've ever used. Get yourself down to Poundland.
P.s. Don't wear wash off tan in the rain, you'll look like your skin is melting.
The link below will take you to the vlog of my wonderful £1 tanning experience (the bloomin video won't embed argh)